


ain't it fun

by clairevergreen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting & Messaging, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, James Sirius Potter is the Token Straight Friend, M/M, but not all of them know it, but they're all dramatic about it, chatfic au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:48:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26350660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clairevergreen/pseuds/clairevergreen
Summary: Hogwarts wasn't ready for the next round of the Wotters to make their marks on its hallowed halls.Or maybe it was the other way around.
Relationships: Lysander Scamander/Louis Weasley, Roxanne Weasley/Original Female Character(s), Scorpius Malfoy/Albus Severus Potter, Scorpius Malfoy/Rose Weasley
Kudos: 10





	1. one.

**Author's Note:**

> Can I write anything other than a chatfic anymore? The answer may surprise you.
> 
> (It's no)
> 
> Title from "Ain't It Fun" by Paramore

**_it’s the disrespect for me_ **

_august 27, 2020_

_4:43pm_

**rosie:** hey have any of you guys seen my lucky hoodie?

**stebbie:** rosie move in is tomorrow morning

 **stebbie:** are you not packed yet??

**roxie:** are you surprised?

**rosie:** guys i’m serious

 **rosie:** scorp says he doesn’t have it and i swear that i left it somewhere

**stebbie:** it’s probably at roxie’s from the other night

**roxie:** what’d we do the other night

**stebbie:** you two have the memory of a goldfish

 **stebbie:** the bonfire??

 **stebbie:** that we had literally three days ago?

**rosie:** oh that’s right

**stebbie:** i’m pretty sur eyou left it in the basement rose

**rosie:** oh my god yes

 **rosie:** lyra you’;re brilliant!!!

**roxie:** what would we do without you

**stebbie:** i can’t tell if that’s sarcasm or not

**rosie:** rox i’m gonna be over in like 10 minutes

 **rosie:** i gotta be back before mom gets home and kills me for not being packed yet

**stebbie:** isn’t your dad home tho?

**rosie:** he’s running around the house mumbling about everything we forgot to buy

 **rosie:** he just ran past my room with a britta filter?

 **rosie:** so tbh i don’t think he’ll even notice

**stebbie:** that sounds about right

 **stebbie:** i can come over and help if you want

 **stebbie:** my aunt made me finish packing like last week

**roxie:** god i cannot wait to see you in college ly

 **roxie:** you think that stick up your ass will finally disapear?

**stebbie:** probably as soon as you get your head out of yours

**rosie:** aww i’m so glad we’re gonna be roommates

* * *

**_avengers assemble_ **

_august 28, 2020_

_5:27pm_

**iron man (louis):** alright sound off, whose parents are finally gone??

**the hulk (scorpius):** mine left two hours ago

**thor (roxanne):** all clear

**black widow (rose):** mom got called away and dad started crying so hugo dragged him home

**iron man (louis):** al??? lyra??

_5:36pm_

**the hulk (scorpius):** are you two still alive?

**captain america (albus):** sorry, my dad literally will not leave

 **captain america (albus):** my mom has been trying for the past two hours

 **captain america (albus)** : i don’t even think he glanced at james’s room 

**captain america (albus):** oh god bless mom managed to drag him away

**iron man (louis):** lyra???

 **iron man (louis):** rox, rosie, you two literally live with her where is she

**thor (roxanne):** her aunt and uncle have her at some dinner

 **thor (roxanne):** she’s been texting me the whole time

**black widow (rose):** so we’re like free now

**the hulk (scorpius):** speak for yourself

 **the hulk (scorpius):** my roommates are idiots

**iron man (louis):** this is why i told you we should have roomed together

**captain america (albus):** but the ~experience~ louis

**the hulk (scorpius):** fuck off al

**captain america (albus):** no don’t think i shall

**thor (roxanne):** anyway

 **thor (roxanne):** lou you clearly had something in mind

**iron man (louis):** there’s apparently some bar not far from here that doesn’t card

 **iron man (louis):** so clearly we’re going

**the hulk (scorpius):** brb already leaving

**thor (roxanne):** i’m here for it

**black widow (rose):** should we really be going the literal first night of college

**thor (roxanne):** abso-fucking-lutely

 **the hulk (scorpius):** what kind of question is that?

 **iron man (louis):** who do you take us as

**captain america (albus):** my god let the girl live

**black widow (rose):** i mean clearly i’m all for it

 **black widow (rose):** it was just an observation

**iron man (louis):** so it’s settled

 **iron man (louis):** uber at 9:00, don’t be late

_6:28pm_

**hawkeye (lyra):** you all are going to send me to an early grave

**thor (roxanne):** love you boo <333

* * *

**_james, albus_ **

_august 28, 2020_

_10:17pm_

**james:** you wanna tell me why you and your posse are already half-drunk at the hippogriff before classes have even started?

**albus:** you wanna tell me why you’re half drunk at the hippogriff before classes have even started yet?

**james:** i am not a freshman and i’m not drunk

 **james:** how did you even hear about this

**albus:** louis

**james:** of fucking course

 **james:** is lyra with you

**albus:** we’re not idiots

 **albus:** obviously

**james:** listen if louis’s involved i have to check

**albus:** felicity made you text me didn’t she

**james:** i haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about

**albus:** lmao you’re so whipped

**james:** i am not

**albus:** *whip crack*

**james:** you’re such a fucking ass

**albus:** just out of curiosity, does she have a special place for your balls or does she just carry them with her

**james:** i hope you get alcohol poisoning and die

**albus:** i will haunt your ass

**james:** i’d like to see you try

**albus:** i won’t have to ask permission from my girlfriend

**james:** at least i have one

**albus:** jokes on you buddy i don’t want one

**james:** get fucked albus

**albus:** working on it ;)

  
 **james:** why do i bother


	2. two.

**_avengers assemble_ **

_august 31, 2020_

_7:21am_

**iron man (louis):** i just wanna have a chat with whoever let me pick a fucking 8am on Mondays

**iron man (louis):** just a quick chat 

**iron man (louis):** a brief convo

_7:34am_

**the hulk (scorpius):** if you don’t shut the fuck up i’m gonna kick your ass

**iron man (louis):** i’d like to see you try

**the hulk (scorpius):** blocked

**iron man (louis):** wait no don’t leave me

**the hulk (scorpius):** b l o c k e d

**iron man (louis):** you abandon me

**iron man (louis):** in my hour of need

_7:53am_

**iron man (louis):** you know what you all suck

**iron man (louis):** how the fuck are you all still asleep

**iron man (louis):** you know what fine

**_iron man_ ** _has changed_ **_the hulk_ ** _to_ **_elsa_ **

**_iron man_ ** _has changed_ **_captain america_ ** _to_ **_ariel_ **

**_iron man_ ** _has changed_ **_thor_ ** _to_ **_mulan_ **

**_iron man_ ** _has changed_ **_hawkeye_ ** _to_ **_tiana_ **

**_iron man_ ** _has changed_ **_black widow_ ** _to_ **_sleeping beauty_ **

**_iron man_ ** _has changed_ **_iron man_ ** _to_ **_rapunzel_ **

**_rapunzel_ ** _has changed_ **_avengers assemble_ ** _to_ **_the magic kingdom_ **

**rapunzel (louis):** suck on that fuckers

_8:47am_

**ariel (albus):** what was the fucking point

**ariel (albus):** are you proud of yourself?

_8:55am_

**rapunzel (louis):** as a matter of fact i am

**rapunzel (louis):** thanks for noticing

_9:16am_

**tiana (lyra):** aw you remembered tiana’s my favorite

**rapunzel (louis):** anything for you bbe

**tiana (lyra):** but also you do remember that i have an 8:30 right?

**tiana (lyra):** i told you yesterday that i’d get breakfast with you

**rapunzel (louis):** wait fuck really?

**tiana (lyra):** _Attachment: 1 image_

**tiana (lyra):** i literally texted you after dinner

**ariel (albus):** oh lewis

**rapunzel (louis):** i have no memory of that

**ariel (albus):** your phone sure seems to

**tiana (lyra):** it’s fine, i made roxie come with me

**rapunzel (louis):** her highness actually woke up before 8:00am???

**mulan (roxanne):** you’re not as funny as you think you are

**rapunzel (louis):** i agree

**tiana (lyra):** here we go

**rapunzel (louis):** i’m clearly much much funnier

**mulan (roxanne):** one day you’re gonna get punched and we’re not gonna stop it

_9:33am_

**elsa (scorpius):** i will kill you

**mulan (roxanne):** case in point

**rapunzel (louis):** you should have helped me in my hour of need

**elsa (scorpius):** i am not fucking elsa

**rapunzel (louis):** i would hope not

**rapunzel (louis):** that’d be really awkward for rosie

**elsa (scorpius):** i know where you sleep

**rapunzel (louis):** again if you’re trying to imply that you wanna cheat on dear sweet rose

**elsa (scorpius):** it is too early for you to be such a dick

**tiana (lyra):** it’s his natural state

**rapunzel (louis):** after everything we’ve been through ly

**rapunzel (louis):** i gave you your favorite princess and this is how you repay me

**tiana (lyra):** i mean technically speaking meg is my favorite but idk if she counts

**rapunzel (louis):** she counts in our hearts

**elsa (scorpius):** i mean technically speaking she and mulan aren’t royalty

**mulan (roxanne):** my girl saved all of china 

**mulan (roxanne):** she counts

**mulan (roxanne):** besides elsa isn’t even a princess so don’t come at us like that

**elsa (scorpius):** she’s a queen?

**elsa (scorpius):** so technically that means i outrank all of you

**rapunzel (louis):** oh fuck you’re right

**rapunzel (louis):** well we can’t have that

**_rapunzel_ ** _has changed_ **_elsa_ ** _to_ **_cinderella_ **

**tiana (lyra):** one day you’ll learn to keep your mouth shut scorp

**mulan (roxanne):** i sure hope not

**mulan (roxanne):** then what would we do for entertainment

_10:23am_

**sleeping beauty (rose):** bitch i’m fucking insulted

**mulan (roxanne):** to be fair you did just get up

**sleeping beauty (rose):** no not about that

**_sleeping beauty_ ** _has changed_ **_sleeping beauty_ ** _to_ **_aurora_ **

**aurora (rose):** put some respect on the name

* * *

**_rox, ly_ **

_september 3, 2020_

_4:53pm_

**rox:** um excuse me

**rox:** lyra

**rox:** you have been holding out on me

**ly:** i am in a meeting shut up

**rox:** _Attachment: 1 image_

**rox:** who is that you’re sitting with 

**ly:** that’s creepy you know that right

**rox:** who is he ly?

**ly:** it’s reese

**rox:** that’s all you’re gonna give me?

**ly:** he’s the ta for one of my chem classes

**rox:** i think that makes him hotter

**ly:** uh he used to date felicity freshman year

**ly:** so that’s a no

**rox:** please that doesn’t count

**rox:** she and james are so in love now that you could date all her exes

**ly:** if you say so

**rox:** look even you can appreciate that he is Objectively Attractive 

**ly:** i mean i guess so

**ly:** i’m a little more focused on what he’s trying to teach me tbh

**rox:** i wouldn’t be

**ly:** that’s because you think with your vagina

**ly:** i really do have to pay attention, these meetings are part of my grade

**rox:** you should very much casually slip me his number

**ly:** absolutely not

**rox:** fine then just casually introduce us

**rox:** look i can come down and just bump into you all now

**ly:** i’m muting you

**rox:** it’s a solid idea

**ly:** keep it in your pants weasley

**rox:** i will break you

**rox:** you will have fun this semester

**rox:** mark my words i will have you making out with random girls in the stacks if it kills me

**ly:** i’ll start planning the funeral 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously I do not own Marvel or Disney or any of their characters mentioned herein


	3. three.

**_friends of the wotters support group_ **

_september 4, 2020_

_11:24am_

**felicity:** so fair warning

**felicity:** fred and joey are apparently planning some party this weekend at their house

**lysander:** i mean at least they waited until the weekend

**lysander:** very responsible

**lyra:** yeah they already roped louis in 

**lyra:** dom is very involved in this too lol

**felicity:** but yeah

**felicity:** knowing those two the entire school will be invited so 

**felicity:** prepare yourselves

**lysander:** you know maybe it won’t be as bad this time

**lyra:** except now you’ve gotta add in louis and drunk scorpius

**felicity:** lol remember that 4th of july that dom and fred spiked the drinks

**lysander:** good times

**lyra:** yeah not when you were the one picking glasses of louis’s fucking face

**lyra:** i thought aunt fleur was gonna have a mental breakdown

**felicity:** pretty sure that’s a daily occurrence in that house

**lysander:** with louis and dominique? together?

**lysander:** yeah i’d say so

**felicity:** don’t act like you think louis is that bad

**lysander:** what?

**felicity:** you’re not subtle

**lyra:** ooo what??

**lysander:** felicity doesn’t know what she’s talking about

**lyra:** felicity always knows what she’s talking about

**lyra:** so spill

**lysander:** we are barely even friends

**lyra** : we share a common bond

**lysander:** that doesn’t mean i’m gonna spill my guts to you

**felicity:** oh so you don’t like louis then

**lysander:** felicity carson jordan i swear to god

**lyra:** i fucking knew it

**felicity:** wait really?

**lyra:** yeah 

**lyra:** it pays to stay sober 

**felicity:** truuu

**lysander:** are two finished?

**lyra:** no but we can be

**lyra:** i think you should go for it

**lyra:** you two would be cute

**felicity:** that’s what i’ve been trying to tell him

**lysander:** ok but 

**lysander:** 1) we basically grew up together isn’t that a little weird?

**lysander:** and 2) we don’t even know if he likes guys

**felicity:** well 1) thanks for the insult to my relationship

**lysander:** you and james don’t count you’re basically soulmates

**lyra:** i mean, idk, i feel like he could be

**felicity:** could be what

**lyra:** louis

**lyra:** into guys

**lysander:** don’t make fun of me

**lyra:** no i’m serious

**lyra:** literally everyone else but roxie and james are some kind of queer so like

**lyra:** i could see it

**lysander:** mhm

**felicity:** she does have a point

**lysander:** you’ve lost your right to an opinion on this matter

**felicity:** aww come on

**felicity:** you know i’m right

**lysander:** what you are is a pain in the ass

**felicity:** mhm

**felicity:** so anyway

**felicity:** the party is tomorrow at 9

**felicity:** and we can deal with san’s louis problem later

**lysander:** i do not have a louis problem

**lyra:** clearly ;)

**lysander:** you both are the worst

* * *

**_rox, ly_ **

_september 4, 2020_

_9:32pm_

**rox:** hey

**ly:** no

**rox:** you don’t even know what i was gonna say

**ly:** it’s either about your brother’s party or the bio report i know you didn’t finish yet

**rox:** how dare you assume to know me

**ly:** when’s it due?

**rox:** 11:59 and i am fucking dying 

**rox:** who tf assigns a report that’s due the first week of classes

**ly:** mhm

**rox:** come on ly you’re the only reason i picked bio

**ly:** should’ve taken astronomy with louis

**rox:** ugh don’t remind me

**rox:** please?

**ly:** you know one day i’m actually gonna tell you no and then what’re you gonna do

**rox:** oh please 

**rox:** you can’t resist all this

**ly:** do you wanna test that?

**rox:** you won’t say no

**ly:** oh i won’t 

**rox:** nope

**rox:** you have a pathological need to help people

**ly:** sorry i thought you were studying business not psychology

**rox:** admit it you like helping me

**ly:** someone’s full of themselves

**rox:** thanks for noticing

**rox:** so where in the library are you?

**ly:** who said i was in the library

**rox:** we’ve been here a week and you have a favorite couch, cubicle, and study room

**ly:** ...

**ly:** i’m at the couch

**rox:** perf i’ll be there in 20

* * *

**_the basket case, the brain_ **

_september 4, 2020_

_9:34pm_

**the basket case:** i wish you could see yourself right now bc you look fucking ridiculous

**the basket case:** _Attachment: 1 image_

**the basket case:** so how’s roxanne

_9:41pm_

**the brain:** fuck off louis

**the basket case:** but you’re totally over her right?

**the basket case:** absolutely no feelings whatsoever

**the brain:** where even are you

**the basket case:** food run for the boys

**the basket case:** saw you from Bailey’s downstairs

**the basket case:** you didn’t answer my question

**the brain:** i wasn’t texting roxie

**the basket case:** you need me to send the picture again?

**the brain:** i do not have a thing for her

**the basket case:** i think i hear a ‘anymore’ in there somewhere

**the brain:** louis

**the basket case:** i’m just saying 

**the basket case:** so what’s she want from you this time

**the brain:** i never said she wanted ayting

**the basket case:** she always does 

**the brain:** no she doesn’t

**the basket case:** homework

**the basket case:** clothes

**the basket case:** a guy’s number

**the basket case:** you want me to keep going?

**the brain:** and what do you call what you do?

**the basket case:** your loving and caring best friend

**the basket case:** who sometimes needs your notes to keep from failing

**the brain:** sometimes?

**the basket case:** THE POINT BEING 

**the brain:** you have one of those?

**the basket case:** fuck you

**the brain:** she wants help on her bio homework

**the brain:** and i don’t need to remind you that i basically did all of yours freshman year

**the basket case:** untrue 

**the basket case:** you *helped* me on all of it

**the brain:** yeah okay

**the brain:** now fuck off before she gets here and scorpius cuts your head off for starving him

**the basket case:** he would never

**the basket case:** the face is where the money’s at

  
**the brain:** sometimes it’s really obvious that you don’t think befor eyou speak


End file.
